One of the lesser-known evangelical Christianese phrases, iron sharpens iron, does a lot of heavy lifting. It’s one of the permission slips in evangelicalism. Usually, their permission slips offer guilt-free abuse of others outside the tribe. This time, everything happens within the tribe. We’re going to check out this phrase, see where it comes from and how evangelicals might be misinterpreting it, and then figure out one of the creepiest things about the entire belief.
(From introduction: JSTOR account information.)
(This post went live on Patreon on 3/14/2024. Its audio ‘cast lives there too and is publicly available!)
SITREP: Iron sharpens iron at a Southern Baptist evangelism conference
Recently, over at the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) website Baptist Press, a curious article went up (archive). It’s about yet another evangelism conference. But this time, its emphasis is on teaching SBC pastors to disciple their flocks to become professional evangelists and missionaries.
And it had a curious title, too, this article: “Iron sharpens iron at IMB Senders Summit.” I don’t know if most normies would understand exactly what it all means.
The “IMB” is just the SBC group International Mission Board. It handles all evangelism and recruitment outside of North America, which in turn is handled by the North American Mission Board (NAMB).
“Senders” is SBC jargon. And it’s becoming very important to the denomination’s leaders. Not as important as iron sharpens iron maybe, but still, important.
Quick segue into “Pray-Send-Go” as Christianese
For a while now, SBC leaders have been obsessed with slogans involving “sending” missionaries somewhere.
Back in 2013, at least one of the state-level conventions was using the slogan “Pray. Send. Go.” A largely forgotten webpage from the Iowa convention (archive) contains the slogan, but it offers scant information about what it involved beyond highlighting both IMB and NAMB. It doesn’t say a year, but it does mention a meeting date of Sunday, June 8 and the “125th Anniversary” of WMU. WMU is the Women’s Missionary Union, which began in 1888. These two dates firmly place the meeting in 2013.
“Pray.Send.Go” became more prominent toward the end of the 2010s. By 2020, it got a lot of positive attention in evangelical circles. One guy, “Lowell the missionary,” discussed the concept at length in a blog post that year (archive):
The traditional rallying cry for missions has been, “Give, pray, send, or go.” Back in 1993 when I left for India, we all knew what that meant and how it applied to church planting among unreached people groups in India.
He also discusses a variant on the phrase “Pray-Send-Go. ” That’s a controversial evangelical fundraising site “GiveSendGo.” The site has allowed white evangelicals to raise vast sums of money for alt-right and violent causes. (See also: Time’s writeup/archive; Rolling Stone’s writeup/archive; and the compelling explanation/archive that GiveSendGo, which began in 2014 and gained great prominence in 2020, offers for these decisions.)
In 2022, “PRAY-SEND-GO” informed one church’s entire missionary philosophy. In 2023, as well, a Zoomer/Alpha-focused evangelism group, Decision Point (archive), used “Pray Send GO” for a prayer calendar. The group claims on its “About” page that “since 2002, [they’ve] equipped Christian students as ‘teen evangelists’.
So this is a popular phrase—and it has been for years. And it has a lot to do with the same mentality that keeps iron sharpens iron alive as a buzzphrase.
Equipping missionaries doesn’t mean just salesmanship training
“Equipped” here, of course, means teaching aspiring recruiters how to do recruitment. But more importantly, it means getting young SBC-lings hyped up enough to want to do it on a long-term, professional basis.
And “equipped” forms the central pillar of this recent SBC conference we’re talking about today. It is instrumental to the concept of Pray-Send-Go.
It’s interesting that literally nobody in SBC leadership thinks that tons of young SBC-lings naturally want to become missionaries. Everywhere I looked, I saw evidence of that fact. Proto-missionaries don’t just need to be taught salesmanship strategies for recruitment. (Although yes, they do need that. Evangelicals on their own are hopelessly inept at salesmanship. Always have been. It’s only recently started to matter a lot since their decline began.) Indeed, here’s what one presenter had to say during “Iron on Iron”:
“The majority of students that come to us and have a clear calling to missions have been discipled well by their local church and have been given leadership opportunity,” [Katie] Bennet said. She serves as a next generation mobilization coordinator for the South Carolina Baptist Convention.
I bet the number is closer to “all” than to “the majority.”
Sure, they all think Jesus literally possesses them when they psychically swear their eternal allegiance to him. And sure, they all think Jesus has a literal blueprint of his followers’ lives that they must follow—or else something terrible will happen. (I’ve never gotten a straight answer here. How can an omnimax god’s plan go wrong or fail to happen? How can mere humans thwart his will? Maybe evangelicals need to figure out what is clearly more powerful than Jesus and worship that. Oh wait. Maybe they do already.)
Despite these beliefs, evangelicals leaders know they must specifically lead their followers to a desire to do this kind of recruitment. In other words, their church and denominational leaders must carefully inspire them enough to want to do it. If their leaders don’t go to this effort, the flocks will not realize that Jesus totally wants them to be missionaries.
In fact, the flocks have to be pushed really hard to figure out what Jesus has ordered them to do with their lives
At various points over the years, I’ve seen SBC leaders blame their declining membership numbers on a failure to adequately equip young SBC-lings for missionary work. Likewise, they look to this equipping process as a means of reversing—or at least bottoming-out—their decline. As one attendee of the conference put it in the Baptist Press writeup:
Mark Hearn, senior pastor of First Baptist Church, Duluth, Georgia, has been strengthening discipleship in his church. In the process, he’s seen that, “a natural part of discipleship is equipping people to go.” [. . .]
He wants them [his congregation] equipped to make disciples, and he wants his members ready to answer God’s call to go overseas.
In this conference, those SBC leaders have chosen two genuinely disturbing phrases as a summary of the concept of equipping future missionaries for service. We already know that discipleship (also known as discipling) is the process of gaining total control over the flocks. Disciples are properly-obedient followers.
The second, however, caught my eye.
Iron sharpening iron—at a conference teaching church leaders how to get more power over followers
This whole situation was just incredible to me. Check this out:
During the summit, speakers shared from the platform, followed by discussion in small groups in a time called “Iron on Iron.” Leaders from four ministries shared their methods to encourage other churches to be on mission.
The phrase “iron on iron” refers to the evangelical Christianese phrase “iron sharpens iron.” It’s from Proverbs 27:17, which says:
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. [New International Version/NIV]
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. [King James Version/KJV]
It turns out that this phrase is incredibly popular in evangelicalism, where evangelicals learn that it means correcting each other’s faults. As a 2016 journal article by Ronald Giese notes:
Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens the face of his neighbor,” is almost universally seen as positive. Some view this maxim as an example of “tough love,” others as a rewording of a verse earlier in this passage, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” [Proverbs 27:6].
And many, many evangelicals have embraced this interpretation with all their might.
IN THE WILD: How evangelicals love ‘iron sharpens iron’
You’d think Jesus himself had used the phrase, for the love evangelicals shower upon iron sharpens iron. He didn’t. The concept is barely even alluded to in the New Testament. In the wild, though, we see it just errywhere.
Have you ever heard, “Iron sharpens iron?” The saying comes out of Proverbs, and it is popular among the Christian community, being applied to friendships, marriages, and family relationships. The concept that Solomon was sharing implied that when you commit to being around another believer, you yourself will be refined and they will be sharpened by you. It suggests a mutually beneficial relationship.
Got Questions likewise covers the phrase (archive):
There is mutual benefit in the rubbing of two iron blades together; the edges become sharper, making the knives more efficient in their task to cut and slice. Likewise, the Word of God is a “double-edged sword” (Hebrews 4:12), and it is with this that we are to sharpen one another—in times of meeting, fellowship, or any other interaction.
Over at Christianity.com (archive), their writer is likewise enamored of this idea:
God expects us to live and serve in a community of other believers (see Hebrews 10:25), and He desires for us to build loving and growing relationships with others (see 1 Thessalonians 2:8). [. .. ]
We all need people who can help us rub off the hard edges and who honestly have our best interests in mind when they do it. There are times when these sharpening conversations, even from loving friends, can come across as harsh, mean, or judgmental. But it definitely helps to know that these people care and that they have a genuine interest in helping us improve.
An evangelical consulting business (archive), N2Growth, links the phrase iron sharpens iron with another evangelical trendy phrase: servant leadership. Evangelicals love to imagine that their leaders are actually servants. (BDSM people would derisively call this situation topping from the bottom; archive.) And another, Leadership Alive (archive), has a lot to say about the ingredients that go into iron sharpening iron.
Last year, an evangelical even wrote a doctoral dissertation on how iron sharpens iron in men’s groups.
Iron sharpens iron, and evangelicals think this is required
Crosswalk’s writer is very certain of the necessity of evangelicals sharpening each other:
Especially in times like today, it is crucial for us to continue to sharpen and be sharpened by others. [. . .] My prayer is that we can all press in and motivate one another to reflect clearer images of Christ. We will never be perfect, but we can strive to be on the journey of sanctification with our brothers and sisters around us.
Over at Got Questions, their writer expresses great disapproval over how few evangelicals actually sharpen each other:
Too often what passes as fellowship in the modern church is centered on food and fun, not on sharpening one another with the Word of God. In far too many instances, the only knives being sharpened are the ones used at potlucks.
Christianity.com thinks that this process is an important form of accountability, making it absolutely essential to evangelical living:
Genuine accountability demands that the person receiving the counsel or advice is willing to allow the friends to look for the vulnerabilities in their lives, to accept what they point out, and then do something to fix it when they hear it.
Similarly, Leadership Alive certainly thinks that the very best groups and leaders rely on iron sharpening iron. 21:13
How to know when iron sharpens iron actually happens
That Crosswalk post (relink) lists a number of expected objective results for the process. These include:
- Mutual growth
- Constructive criticism
- Challenge and accountability
- Collaboration
- Inspiration
- Healthy competition
- Resilience building
- Positive atmosphere
These are all objective signs that iron has indeed finally sharpened iron.
Got Questions doesn’t offer a lot of concrete, objective signs of how evangelicals can know that iron is sharpening iron. But we get some glimpses of promises of unity and greater success at recruitment:
First, the meeting of two together in the Lord’s name will always guarantee blessing. [. . .] Likewise, we will shine better for our Lord if we do the things mentioned above consistently, all of which will unite us in harmony.
Christianity.com tells us that when iron sharpens iron, the result is always going to be a closer, more constructive friendship between those sharpening each other:
This is not just giving anyone the permission to go around with a critical and negative attitude that delights in pointing out the faults of others. The principle of accountability must mean that helpful and real conversations grow out of growing, loving, and constructive relationships.
We find more vagueness from Leadership Alive, but we can once again read between its lines to understand when iron sharpens iron. When it does, we will find these objective qualities in the leaders and groups thus sharpened:
- Genuine care for people
- Clear expectations at all times
- Regular honest conversations
- Praise given publicly, correction in private
- People operating at their best and fullest strengths
- Genuine relationships featuring trust
- People with vision
- Shared leadership opportunities
- Fun, laughter[,] and humor
A brief summary of evangelical beliefs about iron sharpens iron
You’d think evangelicals would know by now not to make testable claims like this. But here we are. It’s like they can’t resist slamming their faces against the brick wall of reality.
In this case, they make an important testable claim about how iron sharpens iron within their groups and churches. Here are their main beliefs around the idea:
- Jesus likes it and helps evangelicals do it
- It’s a requirement for evangelicals to fulfill his orders
- Most importantly, anyone can objectively tell if it’s present or absent
While nobody can really test the supernatural elements of the first two beliefs (since supernatural is just another word for imaginary), we can definitely examine the third. Whether a god is involved with evangelicalism or not, we can certainly test to see if evangelicals are really sharpening iron and not just trying to grab power over each other or lashing out in abuse against the more powerless members of their groups.
So how does this belief work out in reality for these Christians?
Iron sharpens iron and its two unshakeable dealbreakers
Oh.
The way evangelicals describe iron sharpens iron, it sounds like a two-way give-and-take between two good, close friends who deeply trust each other.
That kind of relationship is completely impossible to have in most evangelical groups. They are deeply and dysfunctionally authoritarian, meaning they are focused on gathering and growing personal power. And that means that every evangelical relationship involves a leader and a follower, a superior dominant person and an inferior/lesser submissive person. Evangelicals believe that without this structure, a relationship turns to utter chaos and nothing can get done. Their entire way of life consists of gathering enough power to be as controlled as little as possible by anyone else.
Without a way to eliminate bad-faith actors from its use, this belief inevitably attracts them like moths to flame. And evangelicals have never been able to do that with any of their groups.
And without a way to have two-way egalitarian relationships, there’s no way to abide by the terms of use.
It’s noteworthy—but unsurprising—that I couldn’t even find a single concrete example or sample conversation of iron sharpens iron anywhere. Crosswalk promises to give us examples in their writeup of it, then fails to do that even once. Someone asks about it on Quora, and nobody can do it there, either.
Evangelicals can imagine a lot of perfect things they can’t have, but they can’t imagine what a single conversation looks like when iron sharpens iron is used correctly. And supposedly, they are doing it to each other all the time!
When iron sharpens iron, the results are usually hurt feelings and defensiveness
Perhaps even they realize how impossible the ask is.
Ronald Giese’s article from 2016 (relink) offers a challenge to the party line about iron sharpens iron:
There is little evidence, however, for these interpretations, which appear to reflect modern connotations of “sharpness.” In fact, the biblical evidence for parts of a face that are “sharp” suggests a more negative reading, for sharp eyes or a sharp tongue show an intent to do violence or bring about destruction. [. . .]
Proverbs 27:17 may therefore be stating that, just as an iron hammer violently pounds out soft iron in the smithing process, so too may a same-gender neighbor engage in a similarly violent act, in a manner that is little different from that of a contentious wife. This study of the Hebrew and Greek verbs for “sharpen” suggests that v. 17 continues the idea of “friendships” to be avoided (vv. 13–16). The previous passage, then, teaches the positive aspects of friendship (vv. 1–10, esp. vv. 5–10), followed by the negative aspects in vv. 11–17.
And that seems to reflect what I’ve actually seen and experienced myself in evangelicalism. When one person sharpens another, it’s usually the dominant person sharpening the lesser person. I have never seen this happening in reverse, and I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing it myself when I was evangelical. Imagine me as a teenager trying to sharpen my first pastor! OMG, never!
Worse, sharpening means telling an evangelical that they are wrong. They have made a mistake. They are Jesusing wrong somehow. That idea is absolutely devastating to dysfunctional authoritarians. Making mistakes and being wrong opens them up to attack and the loss of power. It’s a stunning blow to their egos. Consequently, this process of correction always results in hurt feelings.
With all that said, though, who’s really surprised to hear that evangelicals might be making a cardinal error in interpreting Proverbs 27:17 according to the modern culturally-relevant sense of sharpen rather than its ancient one?
I’m not.
A fantasy friendship, a fantasy process, a fantasy conference
So in today’s OP, here’s this evangelism conference based around equipping proto-missionaries for recruitment careers. They have a small group session called “Iron on Iron.”
It’s not really iron sharpening iron. Instead, it’s this:
Leaders from four ministries shared their methods to encourage other churches to be on mission. They represented models from local churches, associations and states cooperating to train and send missionaries.
However, “Iron on Iron” was presented in the writeup on Baptist Press as an exchange of ideas or a breakout brainstorming session. In a way, it’s closer to the iron sharpens iron ideal, though: Its presenters have the info and are Jesusing correctly. They offered pastors a much-needed course-correction to what the presenters are calling a “pipeline model.” More importantly, these presenters told attendees that they were making a mistake in how they engaged with discipleship and missionary stuff.
There’s a lot we could say here about how hilariously bad evangelicals are at inspiring people naturally with the desire to get out there and SELL SELL SELL WITHOUT MERCY. But it’s the very one-sided meeting structure that made me laugh. Without even realizing it perhaps, IMB used the phrase in a way that would be a lot more familiar to SBC-lings than the ideal they write about so rapturously on their websites and blogs.
Listen to what evangelicals don’t say, not what they do say
Evangelicals lie about a lot of things, and they do it without even having to think about it first—and about subjects you wouldn’t even guess anybody would ever need to lie about. But sometimes, they accidentally let the truth slip out.
Almost always, this’ll be in what they don’t say, not what they actually do say.
Sometimes, they’ll be unwilling to swear that an evangelism approach actually works great and has helped them convert millions of people to their churches. That’s a bridge too far. So they’ll say that it’s easily learned instead, as we found out last time we met up. Or they’ll talk up the Bible verses that its creators use to sell the evangelism product. Or they’ll say how much confidence it gave them to get out there and (try to) SELL SELL SELL WITHOUT MERCY.
In this case, nobody in the Christ-o-sphere is talking about an ideal iron sharpens iron conversation that actually occurred in reality. Nor is anybody talking about the belief being used as a shield and mask for abusers and predators.
They’re good at promising good things from using it, and they’re good at describing the ingredients of it. But they’re not good at all at warning people of the danger signs of a bad-faith actor using it.
It ain’t because it ain’t happening
I’ll tell you one thing: It’s not because abuse is not happening. I have very vivid memories of various evangelicals trying to DIY fix me when I was Pentecostal. In the years since, evangelicals have continued to try to fix me, usually of my heathenry and always without my permission. “I just want to HEY-elp yew-eww,” they singsong when I object to the practice. “Don’t yeww-eww wanna get better?”
Ignoring the question of what they think are flaws in the first place, if I didn’t ask for the help, then I don’t want it. It’s a boundary violation even between close friends. Even longtime atheists I’ve known have done it to me, and it’s not welcome then either. When I did it when I was Pentecostal and for all too long after deconversion, I was doing what I’d learned, and it wasn’t okay then either. I had to learn some hard lessons about that. As the old saying goes, the worst vice is advice.
Boundary violations are part of how dysfunctional authoritarians remind themselves and others who’s in charge here. Biff’s favorite boundary violation wasn’t lecturing heathens about their romantic choices, but simply being late to everything, including to his own mother’s funeral.
But correcting people is a more overt violation. There’s always a little wiggle room with tardiness, always a little social algebra applied to considering the incident. We want to believe that the tardy person didn’t mean to do it or it was an honest mistake.
In correcting someone else, nobody in evangelicalism has any doubt about what it means. It’s a clear expression of control and power flowing from the powerful to the powerless who must suck it up and drive on.
That’s why evangelicals are nowhere near ready to talk about how iron sharpens iron going hideously wrong way more often than right, and why they won’t stop singing its praises—or insisting on its presence in their relationships any time soon.
NEXT UP: Whoopsie! Did a major SBC leader accidentally tell a li’l porkie pie over the feds’ investigation of their huge and ever-expanding abuse crisis? Seems like it! See you soon!
How you can support Roll to Disbelieve
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being part of our community!
And now, here are some ways you can support my work:
- Patreon, of course, for as little as $2 a month! I now write Patreon posts twice a week, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with patrons getting early access 3 days ahead of time.
- Paypal, for direct one-time gifts. To do this, go to paypal.com, then go to the personal tab and say you want to send money, then enter captain_cassidy@yahoo.com (that’s an underscore between the words) as the recipient. It won’t show me your personal information, only whatever email you input.
- My Amazon affiliate link, for folks who shop
Thank you for whatever you decide to do!
0 Comments