Grab your 20-siders. We're going in.

Watching her, reading her words, I get the sense that she at least thinks she has genuinely and truly won something big–and her supporters largely seem to agree. She does not have the tight, smug tone of someone who is insisting she won even though she knows she’s been handed a crushing loss. I heard people talking exactly like this all the time in church, and I hear Christians talking like this every single day nowadays. I think she sincerely thinks she won something. But what does she believe she won?

Really, the only redeeming feature of these numerous and increasingly-disturbed-sounding predictions is that not only are they not going to happen, but that the people making them are going to have to come to grips with the fact that they made them–because their flocks may be very good indeed at forgetting false predictions, having had lots of practice by now, but the internet never forgets. We’re going to remember these wild-eyed, finger-pointing, spittle-flecked false predictions for a long time to come. And we’re going to be amused to realize something else.

Kim Davis, the bigot-for-Jesus County Clerk who refused to issue licenses because she thought equal marriage for LGBTQ people was ickie and made Jesus mad, has been thrown in jail for refusing to do her job as a duly elected official of her state. Today I want to talk about why I think she went to the lengths she did.

But sometimes, despite the huge safety net evangelicals have built up over decades to prevent exactly this occurrence, an idol falls.

But sometimes, despite the huge safety net evangelicals have built up over decades to prevent exactly this occurrence, an idol falls.

As I’ve been doing almost every day since the Ashley Madison scandal broke, I got up and ran a quick Google search for “pastor resigns ashley madison -stetzer”. The -stetzer part is because if you try to run a search without that qualifier, you’ll get a bunch of hand-wringing posts from multitudes of Christian sites (and rather mocking non-Christian ones, obviously) quoting Ed Stetzer, who recently came out with the rather startling prediction that today, Sunday August 30th 2015, 400 pastors would be resigning from their posts because they’d turned up on the customer database for the notorious adulterers’ playground.

From Ed Stetzer, a Southern Baptist Convention leader who absolutely never gets anything seriously wrong about his religion, comes this fascinating blog post declaring that “at least 400 church leaders (pastors, elders, staff, deacons, etc.) will be resigning Sunday” because their names will be or have been found on the Ashley Madison customer database hack.