The Worst ‘Father’ in the World

From all the Daddy God blathering to the Heavenly Father crowd, Christians can’t resist comparing their imaginary friend to a real live father. And more than that, in their viewpoint, he’s not just exactly like a real live father–he’s better than any human father could ever be. Today, let me show you why that idea is both nonsensical and insulting to decent fathers everywhere.

The Magical Christian Jesus Powers in ‘This Present Darkness’ (LSP #93, Ch.3)

In this installment, we discover Magical Christian Jesus Powers that only TRUE CHRISTIANS™ can possess–and the mystical evil heathen powers deployed in turn by the Cabal of Satanic Wiccans (or Wiccan Satanists, Whatevs) (CSWWSW). Today, Lord Snow Presides over a pair of confrontations that reveal the insecurities–and the most feverish fantasies–of the Christians who loved this book.

The Persecution Fantasies in ‘This Present Darkness’ (LSP #92)

This poorly-written book helped elevate the Satanic Panic in Christian imaginations–and shaped their conceptualization of spiritual warfare for many decades to come. It did even more than that, though! Today, Lord Snow Presides over the way that This Present Darkness drew battle lines for culture warriors through the manipulation of their persecution fantasies.

If Only He Knew: First, Assume Women Aren’t People

Lately, we’ve been discussing the terrible Christian marriage-advice book If Only He Knew. Written by Gary Smalley, the book seeks to walk men through repairs to their failing marriages. But his fans only want advice that will allow them to keep the ideology destroying their relationships. They especially protect one central idea, the pillar of complementarianism: women as less-than-human. Indeed, complementarianism only works if women aren’t really people. Here’s why.

A Thief in the Night: Traumatizing Children for Fun and Prophet

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that fundagelicals are, at heart, perfectly normal people who have simply been socialized in really awful ways, so they really aren’t aware of the threats they constantly use and the fearmongering behavior they exhibit. I start thinking that they are so immersed in fear tactics that they notice it all about as often as we notice the air in a room or how often we blink. And then A Thief in the Night rolled past my eyes, and I had to come face-to-face with my own boundless misplaced optimism.