In Alpha Course #9, our presenters change a bit to reflect a serious new direction in the series. Here, we’ll get sales patter and testimonies meant to make us think the Holy Spirit does a bunch of different things. Today, we’ll check out this video, examine its claims, and find that yet again, Alpha Course asks a question in its title that it not only doesn’t answer, but really can’t.
(This post and its audio ‘cast first went live on Patreon on 12/9/2025. They’re both available now! Also, here’s the Answering Alpha tag for entire series.)
SITUATION REPORT: Alpha Course #9 asks what the Holy Spirit does (but can’t answer)
Alpha Course is an extended series of evangelism videos meant to entice normies into some flavor of Christianity. Officially ecumenical, it should fit into any church’s nutritious evangelism breakfast. But its ninth video can’t even answer its own question.
By all rights, this video should be an important chapter because the Holy Spirit is supposed to be the official action arm of the Trinity.
However, our speakers can give us no coherent picture at all of this supposedly divine force. Worse, they often provide completely contradictory definitions and explanations of it. And worst of all, when they’re not contradicting themselves, the speakers paint a picture of a capricious, inconsistent god who saves some followers from earthly harm, confusion, and sadness—but leaves almost all others high and dry. It’s off-putting to consider.
From a Christian standpoint, it’d be far better for the Holy Spirit not to exist at all than to exist in the form Alpha Course describes. This isn’t a god. It’s a get-rich-quick scheme that only favors a few at the expense of all the rest.
A quick summary of Alpha Course #9
After the usual “Contemporvant” opening of young adults talking about which parent they resemble, Emmy—a lovely young woman with a million-watt smile—comes in to talk about the great need humans have to be born again. She doesn’t say why, other than quoting Bible verses (John 3:1-8) about seeing and entering “the Kingdom of God.” (In other words, no mention of Hell! And yes, evangelicals don’t like that!)
Then at 2 minutes in, Raniero Cantalamessa talks excitedly about being born again. He’s billed in the video as “the Pope’s personal preacher since 1980,” which is true. According to Wikipedia, he became a cardinal in 2020, then retired in 2024. But in 1976, he also became part of the funky Charismatic Catholic movement, which means he speaks in tongues.
Of course, the video offers various testimonies. Prabir Mandal claims that when he converted, Jesus instantly cured his addictions forever. A musician called Propaganda talks about finding his “father” at last. Notably, neither man actually says anything about the Holy Spirit.
At 9:40 or so, Emmy shows up again to tell us she finally found her “true identity” as Yahweh’s daughter—and at 17 minutes, she’ll reveal that “the Holy Spirit” totally told her as a teen what she should do for a living, too!
Throughout the video, we get blahblah about becoming Yahweh’s “heirs” and getting an “inheritance” from him. Emmy also makes free use of the cringey 2010s trend of calling Yahweh “Abba.” Later on (21:25), she’ll tell us the Holy Spirit helps Christians to “understand the Bible” and evangelize, too!
Alpha Course showrunner Nicky Gumbel doesn’t appear in this one at all. This one was Emmy’s show from start to finish.
And I don’t think it happened that way by accident.
Self-contradictions in Alpha Course #9
Very early on, Raniero Cantalamessa excitedly described the Holy Spirit:
The Holy Spirit doesn’t change anything and he changes everything. [2:21]
Immediately upon hearing that, one of the watch party viewers blurted out, “What are you, fucking stupid?” (And it wasn’t me!) It’s a standard punt to mystery, wherein a Christian wafts their palms heavenward and declares something ineffable. It’s also a shirking of their burden of proof.
Like most of these supposed mysteries, Cantalamessa offers us a complete contradiction in terms: P and also not-P, simultaneously both true somehow. But it won’t be the only weird contradiction in this video.
Cantalamessa immediately goes on to declare that “the Holy Spirit is a relationship, a person, it’s personal love between God the Father and the Son.” But for most of this video, presenters will be describing the Holy Spirit not as a relationship or a person, but instead as a sort of cosmic radio signal they’re having trouble receiving clearly. For example, Emmy again at 17:50:
At that moment. I experienced the holy spirit in a really physical way. It was amazing. My hands were shaking, and I just felt a real surge of energy through my body. It was kind of like a heat, but cold at the same time. [17:50]
One contradiction must be seen to be believed. At about 16 minutes in, Emmy says that the Holy Spirit “brings unity in relationships, in marriages, and in family and friendships [. . . and] in the church.”
A lot of Christians don’t have the Holy Spirit, then, I suppose.
But more than that, she tells us that it also unites all flavors of Christianity.
Nope. Never.
Throughout history, Christians have been at each other’s throats. Even when Catholicism had a near-monopoly on Christian doctrine and praxis, factions and heresies arose constantly. In response, Catholic leaders did their best to destroy them—or at least to bring them to heel.
The literal only force that has ever united Christians as a universal group is raw temporal power and the willingness to take it as far as it can go.
And the inevitable miracle claims attributed to the Holy Spirit
This video’s presenters offer us a few actual, bona fide, real live miracles! Hooray Team Jesus!
For the most part, these so-called miracles are completely indistinguishable from any other emotional high: Emmy’s discovery of her “true identity,” Propaganda’s feeling of finding a new father figure.
One is far more dramatic than the rest, though: Prabir Mandal claims that when he converted, Jesus immediately cured his “many” addictions (smoking, drinking, street drugs, weed). He claims that his conversion made him “a new person” with none of those bad habits.
If this claim were true, then it’d be an interesting story. But it almost certainly isn’t. Addiction has physical, neurological, and psychological facets. It’s very difficult to rewire any of them, and almost impossible to do it quickly. Far too many Christian addicts know very well that Jesus doesn’t hand out magical cures for addiction. At most, sometimes Christian addicts trade one addiction—their substance of choice—for a new addiction to religious devotion. If they can’t manage that, then they get to wonder why Jesus is letting them and their families suffer.
Claiming divine cures for addiction is reckless, to say the least, but that doesn’t stop Alpha Course. Indeed, later on at 20 minutes, an unnamed guy tells us he “was at a treatment center” while attending an Alpha Course-branded weekend retreat. He implies but doesn’t flat-out claim that he found a similar instant-fix to his addictions.
Obviously, I hope 20-minute-guy got the help he needed and that he’s doing okay now. If he is, though, no gods made it happen. He did it all, and he did it with his own hard work.
The appeal of a premade identity
For people who don’t have a clear idea of who they are, the appeal of Alpha Course’s evangelism can be like catnip. Its vision of Christianity presents them with a premade identity that they can slip on and use for as long as they wish.
We see that fact clearly with Emmy, our main presenter. At 9:40, she explicitly tells us that as a teenager she found her “true identity” in her flavor of Christianity. Even more, she got a bead on what Jesus wanted her to do for a living! She was to be “a light in the media” (17:49)!
When I was a teenager myself, I had those same questions about who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. A lot of my peers had the same questions. Almost none of us had answers dropped in our laps, despite praying constantly for direction and information.
Worse, though, the identity my church and peers wanted me to adopt didn’t feel right at all. They wanted me to be a mother, but I had known from my earliest years that motherhood wasn’t for me. It was a serious problem for my faith that all these people claimed Jesus wanted me to have kids, when Jesus sure hadn’t told me that at all. Either they weren’t really hearing from Jesus, or I wasn’t.
(The real answer, that none of us were, took a bit longer to occur to me. When it finally did, all those problems slotted neatly into place and made perfect sense at last.)
As is custom, Alpha Course videos must sell Alpha Course videos
This video marks a sharp pivot in Alpha Course’s evangelism. In the video, several people mention an Alpha Course “weekend.” This is a branded evangelistic retreat for young adults that’s going to go very heavy on miracles, experiences, and divine infillings. That’s why those super-excited nameless people toward the end are talking about how awesome the retreat is. They’re selling similar weekend retreats to the current viewers. This video series is set up to be part of a church’s evangelism campaign, and the retreats are part of that campaign as well. (For example, here’s one that ran in Bend, Oregon this past September.)
From here, we’re veering straight into speaking in tongues. This is tongue-talkin’ territory now, folks. I don’t think we’re getting back onto the Normal Christianity Highway for a while.
But as you’ll see next time, it won’t be quite as weird a pivot as it used to be!
Where’s Nicky?
As I mentioned, Nicky Gumbel is the face of Alpha Course. Until now, he’s been an integral part of every video. But now, suddenly, he’s nowhere to be found. Instead, Emmy becomes our main speaker. She assumes all of Nicky’s previous duties: feeding us Bible verses and sermonettes, talking up her testimony, and leading up to the guest speakers.
But I can see why Nicky handed her the point position here. Unfortunately for Alpha Course, Nicky has a very non-ecumenical background in right-wing evangelicalism. Back during the Toronto Blessing in the 1990s, he was hip-deep in all its weirdest manifestations. He was part of the movement from its earliest days, according to a timeline (p. 24 onward).
So he’s no impartial observer. He’s part of the ‘fundagelical’ fusion. In fact, he’s described the Toronto Blessing as integral to the creation of Alpha Course itself.
However, Nicky isn’t the world’s most sincere evangelist. He comes across as smarmy, opportunistic, and overly simplistic at the best of times. He makes big promises, presents only best-case scenarios, and ignores all the people who don’t get what he’s promising. When we add all that Toronto Blessing baggage to his usual patter, I can guess he drives away the normies pretty quickly.
Emmy’s a lot friendlier, more expressive and sincere-seeming, and—perhaps most importantly—way better at salesmanship. She’s also young enough that she likely hasn’t encountered decades of people not getting what she’s promised, as Nicky has.
It’s such an incredibly cynical decision, but for the purposes of this video, I really can’t blame Alpha Course for it. This is the big lead-in to the weekend retreat. If normies get driven away now, they probably won’t be attending it, and they also probably won’t attend future video presentations.
So now, let’s answer Alpha Course’s question for them
Alpha Course #9 is called “What does the Holy Spirit do?”
Though nobody in the video really spells out the answer to this question (or really even could), here are a few ideas gleaned from it. The Holy Spirit:
- Cures addictions instantly
- Hands premade identities out like Halloween candy
- Steers directionless teenagers into their future livelihoods
- Becomes a father to those without one
- Helps Christians understand the Bible and evangelize
- Brings Christians unity in all of their relationships
- Facilitates both internal unity within a church and unity between all churches everywhere
Little wonder that at 14 minutes, Emmy tells us that one must first believe to understand the Holy Spirit. (She quotes Anselm of Canterbury too!) I’m not even surprised.
What she describes is just confirmation bias and ad hoc reasoning. Without pre-existing belief encouraging people to ignore reality, the Holy Spirit sounds like purest blithering nonsense. And I get it. I do. I believed once, myself, so I know how it is to experience That One Weird Thing That Happened Once (TOWTTHO) and immediately declare it a miracle.
Once we realize there’s no god behind the green curtain, though, we realize real explanations were there all along for what we once considered miracles. That’s what’s happening with every single one of these so-called functions of the Holy Spirit. None of them actually require a god.
No, all these functions need is for humans to just be human: exaggerating or lying or speaking in hopefulness, ignoring reality, finding group belonging, reeling in religious ecstasy. It’s what we’ve always done.
Once Christianity finally fades, something else will assume those functions—just like Christianity assumed them from religions that are now far in our rearview mirror. When that new thing comes along, believers will claim just as vehemently that they totally do experience all of these things because of it.
And hopefully, the evangelism campaign for that new thing will be much better than Alpha Course.
NEXT UP: We’ve got to talk about this entire hard-right pivot in Alpha Course—and its strange evolution into its current form. And ohhh honey, we are gonna do just that next time. See you soon! <3
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