How Evangelical Men Try (And Fail) to Pick Perfect Wives

We’ve been talking lately about right-wing Christians’ conceptualization of marriage. Uniformly, their marriage rules don’t work well, and their expectations of mates skyrockets well above what they can reasonably ask of anybody. But there’s one aspect to the evangelical dating game in particular that stands as a disaster amid everything else they do around marriage. Today, let me show you how evangelical leaders advise the men in their group to choose wives — and then we’ll check out who they actually pick.

The Love Narrative Fouling Up the Evangelical Husband Hunt

A few days ago, we started talking about a 2008 book, Where Have All the Good Men Gone by A.J. Kiesling (who is one of those women). We’re discussing it to get some ideas of why single, middle-aged evangelical women just can’t find husbands within their faith community. And it turns out that one major hindrance for them is their own fixation on a particular love narrative — a cherished fantasy that interferes with the reality of their situation. Today, let me show you the false love narrative that holds these single evangelical women back — and how far they’re willing to go to hang onto it.

Single Evangelical Women Ask ‘Where Have All the Good Men Gone’

I recently ran across a 2008 book by A.J. Kiesling called ‘Where Have All the Good Men Gone?’ Its subtitle reveals its main focus: ‘Why So Many Christian Women Are Remaining Single.’ And we’ll all be happy to know that she landed on some explanations for the growing number of frustrated single women. Today, I’ll offer up a review of this book — and present its main failing, an over-reliance on false narratives.