A hilarious op-ed ran yesterday in The Christian Post. I read it, then wondered who could possibly be as bees-headed as to completely mistake its subjects’ point. I glanced up to the top of the op-ed and got my answer. Oh, of course: Ray Comfort had written it. Immediately, my eyes threatened to roll into lower orbit—and today’s topic became a certainty. My goodness, that guy gets around lately, doesn’t he? Let’s check out his latest grab for evangelicals’ waning attention as he judges, of all people, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
Seriously, I had no clue it was a Ray Comfort post when I decided we had to talk about this thing. The exact identity of the writer of today’s OP (Original Post) is just icing on the cake!
(From the introduction: Carl Lentz info. Also, Bother decided she super duper wanted my attention while I recorded. If you hear weird scratching noises, she was pulling out the stops. I tried to pause it at those times. But at one point at the tail end of the introduction, she reached her little paw into the gap of the mostly-closed pantry that acts as my ultra-sophisticated recording studio, and she began petting my arm. Sweet, furry little nutkin! This is really her world, isn’t it. I am here to entertain her.)
(This post first appeared on Patreon on 3/2/2023. Its audio ‘cast lives there too!)
Situation Report: How Ray Comfort even found out about the Rock’s action last fall
When he was growing up in Hawaii, the Rock says he used to shoplift Snickers bars from a local convenience store. Years later, he felt guilty about doing that. So in late November last year (2022), he returned to that exact store to buy every single Snickers bar they had right then. Then, he gave them all back to the clerk and asked him to give them freely to anyone who looked like they might steal one. In addition, he paid for the purchases of all of the customers who were shopping there at the time.
Now, we might have a lot of good questions about this decision. How will the clerk figure out who looks likely to shoplift? Could that money have gone to programs aimed at helping at-risk youth, thus going further than a onetime gesture?
However, this is how the Rock felt he could atone for his past shoplifting. Sometimes guilt makes people do things that look strange to observers. At least this time, the atonement and the offense were vaguely proportional and related.
But suddenly, in his infinite and divine wisdom as humanity’s Designated Adult, Ray Comfort has taken it upon himself to judge the Rock. Gosh, aren’t we all incredibly lucky to have such a loving daddy, such a hall-monitor busybody even, as Jesus Circuit Court Judge Judgey Whiskers McJudgeypants over there?
How Ray Comfort has judged the Rock
In his op-ed for The Christian Post, Ray Comfort tells us that the Rock can’t possibly atone for his past misdeeds because nobody can. Using his religion as his only standard, Comfort declares that his god does not accept such atonement. Nobody can possibly redeem themselves. See, only his god can possibly take away anyone’s past sins.
(Oh yes, I know you’re likely thinking—as I did—that the Rock didn’t even mention religion as a motivation. We’re getting there. Promise!)
Then, Comfort offers up a hilariously convoluted—and completely misinterpreted—take on Luke 19:1-10. These verses present the story of one Zacchaeus, a wealthy tax collector. In his op-ed, he writes:
Is that true? Can we balance the scales of justice by doing good works? Millions would say a big “amen,” that it’s certainly the right thing to do. This is because doing religious works (or “good” works) is the basis for their religion. After all, wasn’t this what Zacchaeus did in the Bible?
[quote] Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold” (Luke 19:8). [/quote]
Actually, it’s not.
Amazing.
Quick aside: The story of Zacchaeus
Evangelicals quickly learn about the bad reputation of tax collectors in the New Testament. But for those who haven’t had the dubious pleasure, let me explain: In Jerusalem, the Jews there haaaaaated tax collectors. These tax collectors, who were Jewish themselves, took money from their fellow Jews. But then, they handed that money over to the city’s Roman occupiers. Thus, Jews saw tax collectors as the traitorous agents of their hated conquerors.
But in Luke 19:1-10, Zacchaeus decides he needs to see Jesus for himself. Because he was short, he climbs a tree to get a good view. Jesus sees him up there, then tells him to climb down again and take him to his home as a guest. That move pisses off the Jews observing it. To help mollify the crowd (I’m guessing, I admit), Zacchaeus tells Jesus that he’s decided to give half of everything he owns to the poor. Moreover, he’ll restore fourfold money to anyone he’s ever cheated.
Jesus doesn’t tell him not to do that. Nor does he criticize the move in any way. Instead, Jesus tells Zacchaeus that he’s found “salvation.”
Then, immediately afterward, Jesus tells his followers the parable of the Ten Minas. That story involves a nobleman who gives ten servants each one mina (a large sum of money) to invest. Then, the nobleman goes on a trip. When he returns, he’s made king, and he asks his servants how they did with their seed money.
One servant invested it and made ten minas with it. The nobleman lavishly praises him and gives him ten cities to rule. Another servant made five minas with his one mina, and he gets five cities to rule.
But the third buried his and did nothing with it. The nobleman yells at him and takes away his mina, giving it to the first servant. When his courtiers object, since that servant already has ten minas, the nobleman tells them tough noogies:
“He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away. But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me.'”
Divine justice, infinite mercy, and omnibenevolence, everyone. Yep yep.
This story occurs directly after Zacchaeus met Jesus. The story seems like it’s intended to relate to Zacchaeus as a wealthy Jew.
Back to Ray Comfort now
In Ray Comfort’s hands, the story of Zacchaeus becomes a bludgeon for the Rock. In his op-ed, Comfort writes:
Zacchaeus wasn’t trying to redeem himself. He was redeemed the moment he put his faith in Jesus. His righting past wrongs was done as an act of gratitude for God’s forgiveness. It was what Scripture calls fruit of repentance (Luke 3:8). It was evidence that he had just been saved.
[quote] And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham; for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost” (Luke 19:9-10). [/quote]
It was evident that Dwayne Johnson wasn’t trusting in the Savior. Instead, he was trusting in his own attempt to redeem himself, something the Bible says cannot be done.
And um, Zaccheus didn’t get redemption until after he’d accepted Jesus as a houseguest, saw the other people around him getting angry, and then added that he’d make restitution to his fraud victims and give half his stuff away. I mean, I linked the exact place in the Bible with this story. We can read it for ourselves and see the sequence of events in it.
Undeterred, Ray Comfort huffs his own farts for a while about how nobody can possibly “make things right” with Jesus. He rails against the idea of “good works” earning anyone a ticket to Heaven, and how his god isn’t impressed at all by “giving $500 to a store.” (It was $298. But who cares about accuracy? Not this guy!)
And then, Comfort implicitly threatens millions of his fellow Christians:
Yet millions deceive themselves by pacifying their guilty conscience with what the Bible calls “dead works” (Hebrews 6:1).
But he ain’t done yet.
I’ll take ‘Things That Totally 10000-Eleventy% Happened for $100,’ Alex
Ray Comfort winds down his post by recounting a time he preached at one of his neighbors, a man who was generously giving him a ride to work one “cold winter morning way back in 1979.” In his mini-sermon, he told his neighbor that nobody is an “average person” in his flavor of Christianity. Nope! It’s all or nothing! Someone goes either to Heaven or Hell after death, and the only way to get to Heaven is, of course, swearing eternal obedience to Comfort’s imaginary friend. And, I suppose, being predestined for it, though Comfort has always tried hard to hide his Calvinist streak. (Largely, he’s succeeded in playing both sides of the field. Not even Christians can agree on exactly what the hell is going on with him.)
Incidentally, Comfort’s anecdote does not end with his neighbor agreeing, much less converting, applauding, and throwing $100 bills at him, so we may safely assume that neither occurred.
Undeterred, Comfort waves his Jesus-ing around for a bit longer, then ends by quoting the hymn “Rock of Ages.” (No, not the great song by Def Leppard. I cannot imagine the vapors it must give Comfort even to consider the name of that hymn being used for a timeless rock anthem.)
I wonder who Ray Comfort is really talking to here
Remember, Ray Comfort just published a book recently. I’m sure that his primary consideration in writing posts like the OP is keeping his name in front of evangelicals.
(Really, it’s strange that his bio blurb in the post doesn’t even mention the new book. Sheesh. My dear VA, Sandy, would never miss that trick!)
More than that, though, Comfort may be inserting himself into the renewed schism in evangelicalism these days between Calvinists and Arminians. The following definitions are shamelessly oversimplified, but for our purposes today, they’ll work fine:
Calvinists think that Yahweh has predestined all of humanity to go to either Heaven or Hell, and nothing ever changes his mind. If someone’s doomed to go to Heaven, nothing they can do will ever change that destination, either. Comfort is a Calvinist, as are a growing number of evangelicals. The more hardline an evangelical is regarding doctrinal adherence and the less focused on dealing with evangelicals’ huge sex abuse megascandal, the more likely they are to be Calvinist.
Arminians think that humans can either accept or reject salvation. Ultimately, it’s still only Yahweh who grants grace and forgiveness to those who accept his so-called “free gift” to them. Though it’s hard to say exactly, I reckon most evangelicals are Arminians. Arminians tend to focus more on dealing with evangelicals’ endemic issues.
Both camps grow increasingly hardline regarding evangelicals’ culture wars. More relevantly to today’s discussion, both camps think that humans cannot earn safety from Hell except through forgiveness. If anything, doing a good deed simply represents a manifestation of salvation.
In fact, that’s the exact cause of the big argument we reviewed last time we met up. Some guy accused Ray Comfort of perhaps, possibly, maybe endorsing what they call a works-based salvation. (GASP! CLUTCH THOSE PEARLS!)
So a much bigger part of me wonders if Ray Comfort has noticed that argument and hopes to address it with this post slamming the Rock. After all, he wrote that huge long essay about being accused of Calvinism (relink), an essay which makes no logical sense whatsoever and ends by shaming Christians for even asking about it.
Reality check: The Rock wasn’t talking about atoning to Yahweh
Of course, anyone who reads the articles about what the Rock did knows that he wasn’t talking at all about atoning to Yahweh for his shoplifting decades ago. Rather, he was trying to make amends with the store itself. Here’s what he had to say for himself:
The star – known for roles in The Mummy, Jumanji and the Fast & Furious movies as well as the current “Young Rock” autobiographical TV series on NBC – said he “always knew [he] needed to go in and clean out every Snickers bar they had – the right way.” He added that “as a bonus it was a lot of fun to take care of everybody who walked into 7-11 while I was there. Least I could do considering all the s___ I used to steal from here.”
The action was cathartic and rewarding, he said. “We can’t change the past and some of the dumb stuff we may have done, but every once in a while we can add a little redeeming grace note to that situation — and maybe put a big smile on some strangers’ faces.”
That’s why he went back to that exact 7-Eleven in Hawaii. He wanted to make amends with the exact same store where he’d stolen all those candy bars years ago.
Also, I didn’t notice the Rock’s original social media post mentioning “making it right” at all. Ray Comfort seems particularly incensed about media using that phrase, but the Rock never uses it. [Archive of his post.] However, I did see a Fox Sports post that uses this exact phrase. Since Fox Sports is, presumably, just as evangelical-pandering as their faux-news division, the phrase would be immediately familiar to their target market.
Comfort also gripes about the Rock using the term “redeemed,” which he did use in the social media post, at least. However, it’s beyond obvious that the Rock wasn’t talking about redemption in the evangelical sense. Ray Comfort just can’t imagine any other context for the word, is all.
More reality: Evangelicals also believe in making things right with the victims of their crimes
Something else Ray Comfort has forgotten in his rush to make himself look more-Jesus-y-than-the-Rock:
Ever since I was Christian and likely long before that, evangelicals have endorsed making things right by those they’ve wronged.
Paired Life offers an exhaustive examination of restitution. This includes advising the victims of harm that they, too, must “offer amends by forgiving the offenders.”
The Gospel Coalition (TGC) compares personal apologies with corporate apology campaigns. They take as read that obviously, evangelicals should “make amends with those [they] have wronged.”
Changing the Face of Christianity, which I assume does nothing of the sort, has an entire page about how to make proper amends for wrongdoing.
Got Questions, an evangelical site, even praises Zacchaeus as an example of restitution!
I only found one page that doesn’t talk much about making amends for the wrongs one has committed. Their writer grants the notion only a couple of words. Interestingly, it’s from the Association of Biblical Counselors.
So it’s exceedingly rare to find an evangelical leader or site that doesn’t talk about making one’s wrongs right by one’s victims. None of these sites’ writers seem to be confused on that point, even the last one. Nor do they confuse the process of making amends with gaining their god’s forgiveness for these sins. To them, both parts are necessary (when able to be done, of course; they also correctly recognize that sometimes it’s not possible to make amends).
For that particular bit of confusion, we’ve got Ray Comfort.
And then a wild coincidence appears: Ray Comfort vs the Rock, 1st Bout
Suddenly, though, all the mystery behind Ray Comfort’s bizarre screed about the Rock became clear.
That’s when I found a video Comfort made in February criticizing the faith of the Rock. YES. Seriously. It was made a few months after the initial story broke.
The Rock has always been open about being Christian. He doesn’t speak much about the exact doctrines he believes, and for that I’m thankful. Still, he has indicated several times in the past that his faith is very important to him. In fact, the exact video Comfort made draws upon audio from a 2007 interview (near the very end, around 1:50). It just took him fifteen solid years to notice, I guess. Here’s the interview:
I have no clue why Ray Comfort suddenly felt the overwhelming need to judge the Rock in February. Nor do I understand why he had to write about that months-old story in yesterday’s op-ed in The Christian Post. Maybe he finished the post ages ago, but it took this long to get into print. Who knows. It’s just such a strange combination of elements from such strange times.
Whatever the case, the op-ed is the second time our self-Designated Adult has taken it upon himself to scold the Rock.
Oh boy, it’s another rousing game of More Hardcore Than Thou
Whatever else is going on, can I just say that it irks the shit out of me to hear the Rock’s name even come out of Ray Comfort’s mouth? Comfort wishes he were even just 1/10th the man that the Rock is and that he’d done even 1/10th the good the Rock has. The op-ed was bad enough, but this video feels like sheer torture. I barely powered through it.
(If you’re wondering, Comfort stops snidely ragging on the Rock at around the 3-minute mark, then launches into his “are you a good person” shtick on a guy who is already Christian but not terribly observant. It’s the bulk of the video. The last two minutes are a sales pitch for his products.)
To me, the part of his video that actually talks about the Rock, like the part of the op-ed that does, just sounds like an endless wail of insecurity and negative self-comparison. And it damned well should be. He himself damned well should feel that way. Ultimately, Ray Comfort tries to drag other people down to feel better about himself. In this case, he needs to slam the Rock for making amends for his past mistakes so he can feel superior for Jesus-ing correctly enough to go to Heaven—whether or not he ever makes amends for his own. Thinking of the Rock going to Hell despite his earthly amends clearly makes him feel very pleased.
The strange hypocrisy of Jesus’ Designated Adults
Lordy, it’s a shame that Jesus doesn’t exist.
If he did, he could tell followers of his like Ray Comfort when they are breaking the Greatest Commandment he supposedly ever gave them. Maybe he’d even mention a few things about pride. In the end, though, there’s one truth that Ray Comfort makes crystal-clear. And that truth even appears in the Bible:
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.
In other words, maybe Ray Comfort needs to follow my dad’s old advice to me. He needs to let the Rock worry about the Rock, and he can worry about himself. If Jesus has a problem with the Rock, then Jesus can deal with it himself. (Oh, wait. I just said he never does that. Oops! So Ray Comfort has to Adult at everyone. He’s just trying to help his incompetent godling out!)
In Christianity, though, it’s everyone for themselves—and apparently always has been.
Besides, isn’t judging others a sin in that religion?
Strange how pompous evangelicals always see the problems in others while completely missing their own.
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Endnote
Notably, 7-Eleven has accepted the Rock’s gesture with good humor and grace. Franchise Wire found their representative in the comments to the Rock’s social media post:
Well, now that I know ur pre workout secret, I’m bout to be [bicep emoji] [blowing steam emoji]
Meanwhile, not one Christian has gotten one verified response from their god in 2000 years.
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